Helpful Relationship Tips To Consider

Relationships can be tricky, especially when you're in one that isn't working. There are many different kinds of relationships out there and each individual's needs may vary. What worked for your best friend might not work for you and vice versa - the same goes with what works for your partner.

All couples have vastly different needs, so while these relationship tips won’t apply for all couples- and do note that some couples may require some consulting from a professional therapist - they’re a great place to start if you want to see improvements.

Communicate With Each Other

The most important tip you can pay attention to when you want to improve your relationship? Make sure you communicate.

Although this is sound advice no matter what, it’s especially important advice to heed now, in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. After all, there have never been more trying times - and there’s nothing like a pandemic to wreak havoc on your relationship.

The stressors related to this unprecedented event have had ripple effects in pretty much all areas of our lives. Therefore, it’s important that you talk with your partner about your feelings surrounding the pandemic. Are you frustrated? Sad? Perhaps bored with the monotony of quarantine?

No matter what your feelings might be, related to the pandemic or not, it’s important to address them. You might feel like you are venting, and truth be told, your communication may not be the most positive, but at least you’ll be communicating in some way, shape, or form. Every conversation counts - and it’s important that you both at least try to make each other feel heard and more importantly, secure.

At all times, but especially during the lockdown, it’s important that couples in long-term relationships take the time to really get to know each other (again, the best way to do this - communication!). Talk regularly about each others’ hobbies and interests, likes and dislikes, and dreams. 

Part of communicating effectively with your partner also has to do with making him or her feel good about himself or herself. Try to build up the other person, both through your words and your actions. Be careful of the ways in which you are criticizing your partner and try instead to engage in authentic compliments and positive reinforcement. If you see something you like, say something!

You should also work to validate the relationship in your communication. Although you don’t have to agree with every little thing your partner says, do your best to try to understand - and tell your partner that you at least understand or hear why they are upset. This will help communicate that you are a safe ally, on their side, and committed to making the relationship work.

Stay in the Present

This one can be challenging but it’s oh-so-important. No matter what, try to stay in the present when communicating and interacting with your partner. It’s very easy to get on each others’ nerves right now - especially if you’re stuck in quarantine together.

Because of this, arguments often start up over seemingly nothing - but while bringing up past mishaps, mistakes, and miscommunications might be a good way to win a one-off argument, it’s not a great strategy overall.

In doing this, you’ll likely make a problem far bigger than it needs to be. Focus on the present issue instead. Even if you feel like your partner has left you doing the dishes for the fifteenth time this week, rather than focusing on those other fifteen times, on the sixteenth, say, “Hey! Do you mind helping me clean up these dishes?” 

By focusing on the here and now, you’ll have a much brighter future ahead of you.

Another way to help yourself stay in the present? Do things with your partner that you thoroughly enjoy. Date nights are often recommended as panaceas or fix-alls to couples who are struggling in some way, but the pressure of forced time together can actually be counterproductive.

Instead, just try coming up with things that the two of you genuinely enjoy doing together - and do those things more often!

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are an important aspect of any relationship - but that’s especially true now. You need to set some ground rules in terms of what you are comfortable with always, but during the COVID-19 pandemic and its associated risks, be clear with your partner about where you stand.

How do you feel about him socializing with his six closest friends? Does he get nervous every time you go to visit Grand Am? Be clear and open with each other as you decide on which substances and venues are appropriate for you both.

Find a Normal Rhythm

Nothing about the pandemic is normal -  but attempting to maintain as many “normal” habits as you had before the pandemic will help you both stay grounded.

Try to make time for date nights - even if those date nights now exist inside the confines of your own home. Even a movie night on the couch can serve as a great way to unwind and get closer to each other.

Set boundaries, too, on when the workday starts and ends. With more people than ever before working predominantly from home, it might feel as though you have to be on-call 24/7. Newsflash - you don’t. Decide together when you are both going to unplug and hold each other to that - this can not only strengthen your relationship, but it can also preserve your sanity during these trying times, too.

Try to say yes more often. Healthy couples get along - but the healthiest couples try to say “yes” to each other as much as possible. You shouldn’t try to fit things into your schedule or daily rhythm that you aren’t comfortable with, but going with the flow is more important now than ever before.

Be Conscious of Alcohol Use

Alcohol might seem like it is going to provide you with a relaxing way to unwind or to numb your fears and uncertainties surrounding the pandemic. However, over time, it will impact both your physical and mental health - translation: it’s going to affect your relationship, too.

Numerous studies have shown that married couples in which one partner was a heavy drinker had a 50% divorce rate. Therefore, it’s important to pay attention to your drinking and to have conversations about how alcohol might be affecting the state of affairs between the two of you.

This is true for other recreational drugs and substances, too. Be open and honest with each other about how you are coping -  and how you are using substances to fill those voids, too.

Another way people are coping with pandemic stressors? Joint distractions. Many couples find themselves proud of the way they’re avoiding alcohol and other substances, only to sit by each other on the couch each night, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook or watching hours of TV.

Sure, you might be spending time with your partner - but it’s not quality time. You’re not connecting - you are merely taking up the same space.

Therefore, it’s important that you commit to avoiding any kinds of “Band-Aids” meant to lessen the blow of pandemic stressors, whether those quick fixes are alcohol, mindless TV, or anything in between.  You’ll feel a lot less stressed - and way more connected to your partner - by going on a walk around the neighborhood or spending some time chatting than you will from watching the same episode of Breaking Bad for the thousandth time.

Consider Changing Roles in a Relationship

A relationship is not meant to be a stagnant, static entity - instead, it is something that is changing at all times.  

That’s even more true now, in the midst of a global pandemic. You might have to get through your day-to-day tasks a bit differently than you once did - and that’s okay. Try not to get stuck too much in how things used to be.

Your working patterns have changed, after all, and if you have kids at home, likely their schooling has been disrupted, too. It’s more important than ever that parents learn how to share the load - though exactly how you divide up those responsibilities will likely be vastly different than what it was pre-pandemic.

Believe it or not, more couples now than ever before are also living separately. This might work particularly well for couples without children. By living in different households and focusing solely on each other when they do reunite, it can be a great way to carve out intentional time to spend on each other.

Broaden Support System

Just because we are physically distancing doesn’t mean that we need to emotionally distance ourselves from friends and family. It’s very important that you stay connected to the people who matter to you most.

What does this have to do with your relationship, as part of a couple?

Everything.

You can't put all the burden on your significant other to make you happy - you need to make sure the rest of your support system still shows up in full force (and that you are there for them when they end you, too). Unfortunately, that might mean you have to make even more of an effort now than you did before.

Whether it's talking to friends on video chat or going on physical distance walks, it’s important that you still include the most important members of your support system so you don’t expect your partner to meet all of your social and emotional needs.

Communicate Physically

Verbal communication, as we mentioned before, is so important in a relationship. However, so is physical communication. As relationships progress and evolve, hand-holding and pecks on the cheek might give way to total avoidance of physical contact - particularly if a couple has grown apart.

Therefore, it’s important that you commit to including more time for physical communication in your daily routine. Whether it’s gently squeezing your partner’s arm as you pass by or giving them a kiss each morning, take the time to show your partner some affection.

Try to Stay Interesting

This can be challenging - but it’s important. As time passes, even healthy couples become less concerned about being attractive to each other. That doesn’t just refer to physical attraction, of course, but also intellectual, emotional, and energetic attractiveness.

However, even though you’re less concerned with this, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned at all. This is the best way to figure out if a relationship will work - if a person still at least wants to be interesting to their significant other, there’s a good chance the relationship i'll make it.

Try to bring new ideas to the table every now and again. You may want to consider engaging in activities that you know interest your partner - or find new things that the two of you can try together.

Relationship Tips For Couples That Can Help Strengthen The Connection

Relationships are hard, but they don't have to be. If you're looking for some relationship tips and tricks to help add more humor, love, and laughter into your life with your significant other then this advice should help you breathe new life into your partnership. 

However, if you still feel as though something is missing in your life, consider investing in the help of a therapist. Couples therapists have the skills necessary to help you work through any issues you might be having. Even one visit can help give you a new perspective!

One more tip to consider? Don’t be so obsessed with getting it right each and every time. Relationships are hard work - and you won’t win any medals by being a perfectionist. You’re likely not going to have 100% of your needs met 100% of the time and unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. Leave some room for imperfection - and your relationship will be a lot healthier as a result.

Of course, if you really want to do some work on your relationship, you can start by following these relationship tips for couples - it’s a great place to start as you work to solidify your relationship with your one and only.

Rebekah Pierce is a professional social blogger and has worked on several online publications including Citrus Sleep. Rebekah is an experienced content writer and copyeditor. You will find many of her works throughout CitrusSleep.com that cover a wide array of subjects including sleep education, natural, sleep products, electronics, fashion and many more. She is passionate about her work and family.

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